Recipes for TJs

DH had a fabulous idea:  create recipes using just TJs foodstuffs.


What do you get when you mix... ?

• GF Brownie mix, Morello cherries, white icing
• GF Ginger Snaps, vanilla pudding, orange juice
• GF Brown Rice Marshmallow Treats, white chocolate chips, trail mix
• GF Snickerdoodles, raspberry jam, vanilla pudding
• Oatmeal, orange cranberries, orange juice

Truth Be Known

how to live gluten-free

Truth be known! I love the honesty and frankness here. This is real. This is the reality of living gluten-free.

I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, because I found, on my own, what was making me feel so incredibly poor. I just started eliminating gluten and I felt much better. When I mentioned to my General Practitioner that it could be a gluten allergy or insensitivity, she just said, “Yeah, I don’t know if I believe in that.” I have never had the desire to go back on gluten and suffer, just so I could, maybe, get a diagnosis. There is no guarantee of a confirmed diagnosis, but there is a guarantee of pain, discomfort, and distress. No thanks.

I was cooking frequently (every night dinners for the family, baking extra treats on the weekend, making my own pizza crust and sauce just for the taste of it) before going gluten-free. I still cook, but now I cook differently. But not so much differently. My family has been incredibly supportive. We are not a gluten-free household, since they still have their bread and bagels and dry cereals. But anything that gets cooked for the entire family is gluten-free. And they don’t mind it (too much). Gluten-free pastas, GF noodles, GF flours for thickening sauces, GF cookies, GF cakes for birthdays. My husband and I cooked an entirely GF Thanksgiving Dinner last year and it was outstanding! Everything was GF, including biscuits, gravy, stuffing, homemade mushroom soup for the fresh green bean casserole, homemade french-fried onions for the fresh green bean casserole, pecan pie… *everything*! It was absolutely, without a doubt, the best tasting Thanksgiving Dinner ever! And I firmly believe it was because everything was fresh and homemade with care. Oh, and the leftover mushroom soup made the best base for leftover Turkey Pot Pies with an absolutely amazing top GF crust!

I’ve been through all the grieving and anger and frustration and cross-contamination setbacks. It is a new reality that cooking at home is actually easier than taking the family to a restaurant. Since one advantage of restaurants is the selection, I am now on a mission to find recipes and cook the things I can’t have at a restaurant when I’m with my family. Things like Chicken-fried Steak, Tomato Bisque, French-Onion Soup, Minestrone Soup, Meatballs, Lasagne, Quiche Lorraine… oh the list goes on an on and on. But I have now made all of these things gluten-free at home. And they have all been fabulous! And each and every time, I count my blessings for such wonderful, tasteful food. And each and every time, I thank my family. I thank them for letting me cook these things at home so that I can enjoy them. It just so happens that they have loved eating these things along with me! Just this past weekend I made the French-Onion Soup GF (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/tyler-florence/french-onion-soup-recipe2/index.html), with a Udi’s GF bagel on mine (regular bagels floated in everyone else’s) with gruyere melted across the top. We often rate the things we make at home and this one was off the charts with everyone! It was so incredibly good!

Oh, the pleasure of good, good food.

Hmmm… did I mention the GF Monkey Bread? Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm.

Too Much of a Good Thing

One of our family Christmas gifts was for a game system.  Our choice.  We went to the game store and selected the Xbox 360 with Kinect.  Kinect actually detects motion and translate that into motion in the game.  This means no more sitting with just thumb action for the Kinect games.  On your feet, people....

Kinect has given us a new member of the family.  Meet "Mr. Cranky Calves"....  The boy jumped and hopped and bounced so much yesterday using the Kinect game that this morning he couldn't walk.  He was screaming that his calves were screaming!  The poor kid was in pain.  I showed him how to stretch, but it was difficult to get him started, with so much pain.  He's doing better now, but I've told him not to play any jumping/bouncing games today.

Too much of a good thing....  And now school is closed for a school day, and they don't even want to go outside to play with the neighbor kid.  So much for friends.

They are learning how to cooperate with each other, now that they have 2 player games that require them to work together to advance the game.  That's a first around here.

The calves will get better, the cooperation will improve, and these kids might get in shape... the fun way!

Cookies

We were going up to Pennsylvania to visit the Slate People.  We had just arrived at the Stroudsmoor Country Inn, checked into our room and were settling in.

Mr. Lego Engineer and Missy were going all through the room, poking at everything, repeatedly testing every switch, peeking in everything.  At the dresser, Mr. Engineer was examining everything.

"Hey!  They gave us a cookie jar, but they didn't leave us any cookies!"

Mr. Engineer was examining the inside of the ice bucket.

50167

 

 

NaNoWriMo

Pompous or Just Too Long?

"There appeared to be no more hope of speeding up the buttoning process than there was of accelerating the insertion of a line of hooks in their respective eyes, for the motion of inserting individual hooks into mating eyes, or buttons into mating buttonholes, was across the gap to be closed, whereas the motion of the hand in progressing to close the gap was along it."

Henry Petroski, The Evolution of Useful Things

Educational?

Is "educational" material a good thing in all circumstances?

Probably not.

Man came home today from school with a recommended web site.  Recommended by his third grade teacher.  Recommended for the weather games.

Dad goes to check on Man at the computer and discovers that the boy is performing virtual hip surgery.

Virtual hip surgery!

Man was on the web site given by the teacher.  I saw the written web address.  He had already done the two weather games and "had gotten distracted with the virtual hip surgery."

This "game" gives you a scalpel and proceeds to tell you how to make incisions through the different layers of tissue.  It is all computer graphics, and there is no fake blood, so it is not at all realistic looking.

What... so now Mr. Lego Engineer will become a surgeon?

I guess in this day and age, it's never too early to start practicing for your future profession with those teacher-recommended web sites!

The web site also has a virtual knee replacement surgery.

Ya know... this could be a lot cheaper than sending him to medical school!

Is Reading Always a Good Thing?

Last night was Back to School Night for Mr. Lego Engineer. This is the parents' opportunity to hear what their kids are doing, learning, what is expected for homework, and even chat briefly with their child's teacher. I also went early to hear the presentation for the Gifted and Talented (G/T) Program. 

Mr. Lego Engineer is sharp like a tack, quick as whip, and as organized as a hog. His smarts are off the charts. His diligence towards school work is off the charts the other way. 

The G/T teachers had invited him to participate in one of the extra programs they have that are teacher-invitation only. This is great that they recognize him as needing and wanting additional instructional opportunities! This curriculum extension is about bridges. Vanessa also did this program and really enjoyed it. Now it is his turn. 

The G/T teachers also offer Instructional Seminars, which are optional, voluntary, and the kids give up some of their recess time to participate. All those interested are allowed to participate in this program. Mr. Lego Engineer expressed interest in doing one on computers. 

Both programs have a sheet that must be filled out and returned. Both sheets had deadlines. Mr. Lego Engineer missed both deadlines. I had to even "suggest" sentences he could write for the "letter of interest" that was requested for participating in the Instructional Seminar. 

Last night, the G/T teacher said that she had received the Letter of Interest, two days late, but that it would be fine and he could participate. Then I asked about the bridges program. I saw two separate sheets come home, requesting parental permission to participate. I asked the G/T teacher if either had gotten back to her. No, neither. She said I could just write a note and that would be fine. Whew. Good. 

Later in the evening, we were given a presentation by the third grade teachers and then allowed to check out our children's desks and read the letter they had written for us. I also looked around the room to see if any of Mr. Lego Engineer's work was posted on the walls. I didn't see any, but I noticed that a poster had names of table groups, each with differing amounts of points accumulated. So, I wrote a response letter back to Mr. Lego Engineer, which he would get this morning when he gets to school. I asked him which table group he was in and how many points they have. As I was finishing this brief letter, his teacher came up. 

I asked how Mr. Lego Engineer was doing. 

"He is doing well, he really is a smart kid, but he is very fidgety. I have several of those." 

"Yes, he's fidgety at the dinner table at home too. But does he stay in his seat?" 

"Yes, he does." 

"Great! That's an improvement. And how is his work going?" 

"It seems to be going well, but he tends to read while I'm speaking to the class." 

"He reads at his desk while you are speaking?" 

"Yes. But he likes to read and I'm glad he is reading instead of doing something else." 

"Um, yes, but that is rather rude." 

"But he's reading." Mr. F. sort of shrugged and moved off to speak with another waiting parent. 

I finished writing my letter to Mr. Lego Engineer and peaked in his desk. There were a couple of papers askew (only a couple!), so I pulled out a bright pink one. 

It was another invitation to join the bridges program! Ah ha! I could fill it out and maybe find the G/T teacher and be done with that! So, I filled it out, tore off the bottom which was to be returned and then looked back in his desk. 

I was curious what he was reading while Mr. F. was talking to the class. 

One decent sized book was in amongst his composition books and folders. 

"Falling Up", by Shel Silverstein. 

A kid's book of poems. 

My boy is reading poetry while the teacher speaks to the class! 

On that, I gathered the papers I was taking home and went in search of the G/T teacher. I found her, and held up the slip for the bridges program, saying, "Look what I found in his desk!" She smiled as I handed it to her. 

And I floated out of the school knowing that my disrespectful son was reading poetry during class. 

How much trouble should he really get into for doing that? When I got home, I was sure to talk with him about it and make sure he understood that doing so was, in fact, disrespectful. He acknowledged it. 

Chastising done, I sent him off to bed. 

And then I reminded myself that he was choosing to read poetry!

Hurricane Earl

Today, we experienced our first hurricane:  Earl.

We have been whiplashed with winds of 0.0 mph, doused by rain of 0.0 inches, and blasted by a storm surge of 0.0 feet.  Brutal.  Our UV-index is 5, but we might survive that.

Hurricane?

No problem...

Tornado?

I drove through this, but I didn't see a tornado....

July 20, 2010

Tornado Warning for Ellicott City

The National Weather Service has posted a tornado warning (red zone on map) until 5:30 p.m. for portions of Howard, Baltimore Arundel counties and Baltimore City:
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN STERLING VIRGINIA HAS ISSUED A

* TORNADO WARNING FOR...
  SOUTHEASTERN CARROLL COUNTY IN NORTH CENTRAL MARYLAND...
  NORTHEASTERN HOWARD COUNTY IN CENTRAL MARYLAND...
  NORTHERN ANNE ARUNDEL COUNTY IN CENTRAL MARYLAND...
  SOUTHERN BALTIMORE COUNTY IN NORTHERN MARYLAND...
  BALTIMORE CITY IN NORTHERN MARYLAND...

* UNTIL 530 PM EDT

* AT 456 PM EDT...NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR INDICATED A
  SEVERE THUNDERSTORM CAPABLE OF PRODUCING A TORNADO NEAR ELLICOTT
  CITY...OR 9 MILES NORTH OF COLUMBIA...MOVING SOUTHEAST AT 30 MPH.

* LOCATIONS IMPACTED INCLUDE...
  ELLICOTT CITY...
  MILFORD MILL...
  WOODLAWN...
  LOCHEARN...
  CATONSVILLE...
  ELKRIDGE...
  ARBUTUS...
  BALTIMORE...
  BROOKLYN PARK...
  PUMPHREY...

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

TAKE COVER NOW. MOVE TO AN INTERIOR ROOM ON THE LOWEST FLOOR OF A
STURDY BUILDING AND AVOID WINDOWS. IF OUTDOORS OR IN A MOBILE HOME OR
VEHICLE...MOVE TO THE CLOSEST SUBSTANTIAL SHELTER AND PROTECT
YOURSELF FROM FLYING DEBRIS.

MMM

This morning at the breakfast table, I asked Jeremy about what he was doing in his "Math on the Menu" curriculum extension.  At first he said he was doing the same thing as in prior weeks, but then he stopped and corrected himself.

"No.  I'm doing something else.  Average, mean, and... ah... median."

"Really?  You learned about average and median?"

"Yep."

"But the average and mean are the same thing, right?" I asked.

"Ah, yes."

"So, did you learn about mean, median, and mode?"

"Oh!  Yes!  That's what it was."

"So, the mean is just the average, which is the sum of the values, divided by the number of values you have, right?"

"Yep."

"And the median is just the middle value of all the values, right?"

"Yes."

"And the mode.  Do you remember what the mode is?"

"Ah, yeah.  It's the highest number."

"It's the most frequently occurring number.  So, if you had a bunch of grades, and a lot of them were 97%, and only one was 100%, and maybe two were 95%, what is the mode?"

"100%?"

"Well, not quite.  We have lots of 97% grades...."

"Oh!  So that is the mode!"

"Yes!"  I went on to tell him about histograms and the peak of a histogram is the mode.

In nerd-land, we call all of this MMM.  I'm not sure when I learned about MMM.  High school?  College?  It most certainly wasn't in second grade!

I'm doomed.  Maybe not today, but soon, very soon....

Webb Telescope's NIRCam Engineering Test Unit Arrives at NASA Goddard

Over Breakfast

Some people watch the news over breakfast. Some people read the newspaper. Some people read a novel.  

Some people talk.  

Some people talk about planets and moons.  

Some of these people would be my son and me. Like this morning.  

It was just the two of us sitting at the kitchen table, eating. I was asking him about a math program he has been working on the last couple of weeks. Out of the blue, he tells me that the Man in the Moon is just craters and shadows.  

I say, "Yes, and what is the moon made of? Cheese?"  

And he said, "No. Rocks and dirt from the Big Bang."  

Feeling compelled to provide him with complete information, lest he misuse the incomplete version, I responded, "Yes, but more recently than that the Big Bang material was used and expelled by stars and then our solar system and our satellite was made from that material."  

His face contorted. He was quite baffled by this. "You mean rocks and dirt can take pictures?"  

That stopped me in my tracks. Huh? Think, think, think. What did I just say to him?  

Ah ha! I said "satellite". I had to explain the difference between natural satellites and manmade satellites. Then he understood.  

And that is how he started asking me questions about moons. "Is our moon the largest in the solar system?"  

I told him I didn't think so, that maybe Titan is. (Titan is second largest. Ganymede is the largest moon. Ours is the fifth largest.) And we talked about Mars having two moons, Phobos and Deimos. And that Pluto has three satellites. And that Jupiter has lots of satellites and Saturn has both satellites and rings.  

And I said that I wasn't sure about the relative sizes of the moons, since I have a hard time remembering such statistics.  

And he said, "So, you're not a moonologist?"  

No. I'm not a moonologist.  

Where did he come up with that word? Clever boy!

11 May 2010

This morning didn't start out well.  I wasn't feeling great, with some minor stomach pains.  I exercised anyways.  After I was done with the treadmill, I actually did the first few of my Pilates exercises.  This made me feel a bit better.

But it also made me behind schedule.

I tried to rush through the shower, but I forgot that I don't have any conditioner left.  So I added some water, swished it around and used that.

By the time I got dressed I was at least ten minutes later than I usually am.

I headed to the kitchen and tried to make coffee.  This required that I grind some beans.  I spilled them.  They and some errant grounds made a mess on the counter.  I left it so that I could get my breakfast started, which I promised C. would include a small amount of kefir.  J. wasn't up yet, so I went to get him.  By the time I got him back to the couch, it was already 7:10 and I had missed the Local on the 8s.  Late, late, late.  I sat for only a minute or so and then got up to make the rest of my breakfast.

And I hadn't even started making my lunch yet.

I finally got everything done in the kitchen and rinsed by bowl.

Still 10+ minutes behind schedule.

I got myself ready, packed up my stuff, said my goodbyes, gave all my singles to Chris for lunch monies, and left.  No disasters, just nothing going quite smoothly.

Somehow, despite horrid traffic reports on the radio, I arrived in the parking garage at work within 39 minutes of leaving my driveway.  Wow.  That doesn't happen that often.  Not at the time that I've been leaving my house lately.

So, my first order of business this morning was to get Office updated on my computers.  I had an email waiting for me to just let C. R. know when I was available, but after 9am.  Fine.  At 9:05 I emailed him and said I was ready.  Then I logged out.  I switched to using my laptop and began working from there.  I considered logging out of the laptop too, but then decided I would have time to do that while my desktop was being worked on.

I worked and worked and worked.  Finally I sent another email to C. R. asking if he had gotten the first.  He replied that he had, but that he had been pulled away and would be here in 15 minutes (~10:20).  I continued to work and work and work.  And then I realized that K. N. was giving a KBO talk at the Nix and Hydra conference downstairs at 10:45.  I figured it would be good for me to go and sit in the back.  In the mean time, I kept working.

At 10:43 I left to go to K. N.'s talk.  I nearly ran into him on the way into the auditorium.  He said, "Oh, you're here!"  I headed for the back row.  As I sat there, his title slide was displayed.  It did not list my name.  S. K. B. saw me, but I was working diligently on my laptop.  Then S. R. came to sit by me and she asked if I was there for "support".  I said no.  And she asked why.  Since S. K. B. was sitting too close for comfort, I leaned way over into S. R.'s ear and explained the lack of ending of working on K. N.'s project.  Then we continued to chat about NICMOS and handbooks and such.  At some point I noticed that K. N.'s title slide was not showing anymore.  She had to leave to support the talks in the control room.  Then K. N. walked up to S. K. B. and chatted with her.  I read my email.  Then K. N. chatted with N. R., who was sitting directly in front of me.  And I started to respond to email.  Then K. N. came up to me and recommended that I watch the webcast of the previous talk that was about detection limits and such.  It would be good background for me.  As he started to walk away to go give his talk, he said over his shoulder that we would finish it up.  I just nodded.

When I looked back at the screen, my name was added the end of the list of collaborators.

The little shit added me after seeing that I was going to be there for the talk.

This irritated the hell out of me, but N. R. was sitting close so I couldn't even cuss under my breath.  Instead, I set my foot to bobbing up and down at a frantic pace.  During the talk, K. N. mentioned my name as helping to look for binaries and not finding any.  I felt my face flush.  I was mad as hell and he was mentioning my name.  He was just doing his best to soothe his guilty conscience.  Good for him.  It didn't make me feel one bit better.  As he continued with the talk, he mentioned S. K. B.'s name a couple of times.  Good for her.  She probably relishes it.

I think my foot bobbed for the entire 30 minutes continuously and quite irritably.  As soon as the talk was done and people were raising their hands with questions, I left.

I'm cured.

I don't want to do solar system science anymore.

28 April 2010

After arriving at The Children's Bureau for Ivan Rosenberg's Management Workshop, Ivan indicated to me that I had some special food waiting for me:  a cup of yogurt and some fresh, cut fruit.  This was a nice surprise!  Unfortunately for me, I had just eaten a big, high protein breakfast at the hotel.  I couldn't bear the idea of eating another bite just then.  So, I saved them.  Apparently, they would also have something separate for me for lunch.

When lunch arrived, I peeked at what everyone else was serving themselves.  It appeared to be plain rice, seafood and shellfish in a tomato sauce and green salad.  I was told that I could eat the green salad and the Italian dressing.  Then the separate dish was brought to me.  It was grilled chicken and steamed asparagus and carrots.  I asked if it was just plain rice and Mike (the building manager) said yes, but that I couldn't have rice.  I just looked at him.  And then I said that I can have rice, I just can't have anything with wheat.

Last I checked, rice is not made of wheat.

Anybody hear differently?

If it was the caterer who decided that I shouldn't be eating rice, then I have absolutely no faith left in them.  Their business is food.  They should know this stuff.  They may have difficulty understanding food allergies, but they should know what rice is made of!  Yikes.  This is a truly scary thought.

Maybe some yogurt and fruit in the morning and one more lunch.  Then I won't have to worry for another month about this.

I'll bet I could have eaten that shellfish!  And there turned out to be two other people who couldn't eat the shellfish!  All this fuss is being made over me, and probably wisely, no one else spoke up about their own allergies.  Ah, well, I'll be the guinea pig.  So be it.

27 April 2010

Yesterday, during our NIRCam weekly meeting, HF discussed three separate ETC topics.

1.  Thermal Backgrounds - VL has already requested a time to discuss this.  HF thought that today's WIT meeting, if time allowed, would be good.  He then asked BB (?!) to confirm with VL that this would be okay.

2.  PPS discussion led to a request for the WIT to weigh in on how targ acqs would be done in the APT and the ETC.  BS sent a message to VL, indicating that in order to "break the ice" we should meet.

3.  The SWIG would like to have some sort of ETC available for the Grand Tetons meeting next spring.  HF does not want to see a duplication of effort and I agree.  This came through MS in the JWMO.

All of this was a bit disconcerting, but I didn't pursue any of it due to time constraints.  I was busy with numerous other things.  I did send a heads up email to VL to expect a message from BB (as directed by HF).

Then VL calls me and says that she is dismayed by this email from BB and is ready to go talk to PG about the WIT/SSB liaison.  I thought about it for half a second and realized that I couldn't let her talk to PG before I could talk to HF.  It wouldn't be right.  Icky.  I don't want to go there.  So, I told her that I needed to speak with HF before she says anything to PG.  So, I emailed HF asking for a chat.  I thought hard about how I would approach HF and what I wanted to say.  I wanted to be very careful and not overturn the cart.  Just get it straightened out.

I decided the communication issue was safest and most immediate.  Information was not flowing, but was being tossed and bantered about in all directions.  BB to VL, VL to me, HF to me to VL.  All mixed up.  Recent emails and the distribution of the ETC info at the NIRCam meeting were the most apparent examples of this.  I mentioned VL's name quite a bit, though I think I was using it as a crutch to avoid discussing what was really bothering me, which I did not want to raise at this time.  HF was receptive and said that it needed to be fixed.  He could just instruct everyone that if their email even mentions the ETC to cc it to me.  I said that I might end up in a deluge of emails and HF responded that that could be fixed if needed later.  I agreed.  At least twice during our discussion HF said he didn't know if an individual knows that they should funnel ETC information through me.  Those would be BS and MS.  Now, I actually think they both might have been aware that I was doing something with the ETC, but if people in general don't know to keep me informed, then I think it is HF's duty to make it apparent to everyone.  I probably should have said so to HF directly, but I didn't.  I need to learn how to do this tactfully AT THE TIME IT OCCURS TO ME, not just later after I've had time to mull it over.

I chatted with VL, since I wanted her to know what I did and did not discuss with HF.  I confined it to the communication issue only for now.  Let's get this straight and the other might right itself on its own as time goes on.  VL was fine with that.  But she seemed highly agitated FOR ME and for herself.  She didn't want to do the thermal backgrounds at the WIT meeting without me there, since I think she wanted to be able to draw attention to me and make others identify that I was doing this work and they should interact with me.  I felt like I wanted to soothe her, but wasn't sure how.  I don't want to hold up the schedule and it is already tight.  We need to move ahead on talking with the teams.  I think she resigned herself to having to do the WIT meeting without me, but still wasn't thrilled with it.  She said she would give me a full report after the meeting and that she would be talking with PG about the liaison issue, either before or after the WIT meeting.

I had felt a lot of trepidation about going to HF.  I focused my thoughts on the communication issue.  I tried to distance myself from VL's emotionality about the quantum effect.  I wanted to be calm and clear.  No emotion.  I think I succeeded.  And I think I got what might have been better results than if I had gotten the least bit emotional in HF's office.  It was hard, but I came to realize that I separated the emotion, presented the issue and stayed on a clear track with HF.  That's the way I want it.  It would have been easy to let VL's emotional response infect me.  But I know myself.  And I know it wouldn't benefit me or the discussion with HF.  I need to avoid the tendency to be pulled in by the emotions.  And I think I did this time.  That is a breakthrough.  I am proud of my resolve and the use of my defenses.  Defenses against the easy and usual emotional response.

I need to remember to tell FB about this situation and its apparent resolution.  This isn't exactly the same concern I raised with her regarding individuals who might not be supportive of an RIS as an instrument team lead, but I want to point out to her that the resolution of this situation could lead to better circumstances during WIT meetings and more recognition to RIA/Ss as warranted.  Time will tell.

22 April 2010

Last night, as I was help Chris with dinner, I started talking about how I had come across Rick Hedrick's company that makes expensive telescopes.  This developed into a conversation about what I am doing here and what is lacking here for me.  I said I wanted a PhD, mostly for the respect associated with it.  Chris said that with all the experience I have, I probably know the equivalent of a PhD.  Maybe, but I don't have the piece of paper, and without that, it doesn't change people's notions or actions towards me.  This evolved through him suggesting I get a PhD, me saying no, it wouldn't produce the results I'm really after (and all the justifications for such a statement), and that what I really wanted was to be an instrument team lead, but that it seems very unlikely, given the current environmental climate here.  At some point I stated that it is easier to not want more.  Chris objected to this as not being right.  I quickly clarified by saying that it is easier to not want more, but that isn't me and I do want more.  I wouldn't be me if I didn't.

This morning I came into work as usual.  While working on my desktop, a message from my calendar popped up, reminding me of my midterm appraisal with Francesca.  I had forgotten about this.  I guess that's why I have and use a calendar.  What timing, actually.  I might just mention my thoughts of last night regarding the climate here towards responsibility to RIA/Ss.

I went to my appraisal meeting and Francesca used Harry's words:  "I wish we could clone Elizabeth."  Yes, I get the gist of his meaning.  That's nice to know.  Good.  Harry is happy with my work.  She also specifically mentioned, "good at multitasking", 'reliable', and several other concise words.  Again, this is all good.  We proceeded to discuss my goals as listed in the PAR, noting things that need to be changed and a couple of questions for Harry to clarify.  After all of that was done, Francesca asked if I had any further questions or concerns.  I said yes.

I started by saying that I didn't want to say out loud what I had to say for fear of making it become real.  I don't want it to be real, but it is my perception.  But I also felt that if I didn't tell her, she wouldn't know my concern and she wouldn't be able to watch for it for confirmation and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it.  I am concerned that management purposely decides that certain tasks/responsibilities are outside the league of RIA/Ss.  I felt it in the I & T meeting we had on Tuesday.  Nothing explicitly was said or implied, but my contribution to the conversation was sidestepped.  Discussion was directly to Kailash and about Massimo.  Granted, Jay was there and none of it was directed at him either, but that is because he is more specifically WFS than I & T.  But I figured with my participation at LMATC for ETU testing, I might be more readily included in discussions.  Not so much.  This also happened during the previous week's WIT meeting, which was focused on calibration.  Massimo wasn't there, and I when I spoke up, Harry seemed to say, "Yes, but Massimo was working on a document..." Again, sidestepped my comment.   I also indicated to Francesca that during WIT meetings, the discussion happens between the ISs, since they are the one who get assigned the tasks that are then supposed to supply updates, the calibration working group for each instrument, for example.  Then the discussion happens among those at "that" end of the table, while the RIA/Ss sit and listen.  From afar.  Both figuratively and physically, often.  Not exclusively, but the usual is that the RIA/Ss don't own anything that requires in inquiry for status updates.  Francesca asked if this happened when Margaret was lead too.  Yes, most definitely.  It was possibly more distinct then, but I didn't mention that.

Then Francesca shared with me some additional discussions she was privy to for some other purpose.  She said someone else noted what I was pointing out and that he doesn't know he is doing it.  Good, that means I'm not out in left field all alone.  Bad, since that means it is real.  I pointed out that it does mean that is how he thinks.  She caught herself on that and slowly agreed with me.  She said it could be years before the notion of an RIS being an instrument team lead is broached.  Already, the idea of RIS's applying for the parallel track has been discussed among management, but she raised a concern that those on the interview panel may not be open to such an idea, and that is an absolute requirement before it can happen.  She said that things need to start by getting people to ignore labels and classifications of position.  And it needs to start with the management team.  She said that Jerry needs to start by working on the management team's preconceived ideas about these things.

She thanked me for telling her.  I do think it was good to tell her.  If she doesn't know, she can't watch for it, can't do anything about it.  It was useful for me to tell her, if not useful today, then probably someday.  And I feel better for telling her.  I don't have this to gripe about and I've told someone who might be able to do something about it.  Now, I can let it go.  Not forget it.  Just not let it continue to bother me.  Someone else is now watching for it.

21 April 2010

Today I was thinking about my management training trip to LA next week.  I was thinking about how I would have more time to visit Grandma during the day Tuesday after I get in.  I could drive from the airport to the beach and then on to Grandma's by lunchtime.  I could even stay through dinner.  After that I could check into my hotel, up in downtown.

And then I got to thinking about visiting El Camino and maybe stopping in and surprising Perry.  I poked and found out that he appears to be teaching his telescope making class on Tuesday nights, 6 or 6:30 until 9pm.  So, hypothetically, I could eat dinner with Gram early and then drive back to Torrance, stop in on the telescope makers and then head downtown.  I poked around some more on the El Camino web site and discovered that one of their observing sites is listed as Pinto Valley Observatory.  I dug further and discovered that Rick Hedrick was involved in founding this observatory.  So I dug even further and found that Rick had co-founded a company called PlaneWave Instruments and they make and sell large amateur telescopes, on the order of $10,000-30,000 and up telescopes.  These are not backyard telescopes!  These are only for the serious amateurs.  Serious amateurs with money.

Wow.  I've been out of touch.  I don't like the feeling of being out of touch.  I am happy for Rick.  He's married with three kids now.  And he is still playing guitar.  And Stevie Ray Vaughan.  All of this according to what I have found on the web.  The Pinto Valley Observatory web site seems to be several years out of date, but Rick's family pictures seem to be within the past year or so.  The PlaneWave Instruments web site is current.

And it is raining in Baltimore.

Yes, at this very moment, I see the raining falling outside my window and into the street below.  I have such mixed feelings at this moment.  I'm happy for Rick.  I feel left out of the fun.  I feel jealous of his success.  I feel ignorant of the optics.  I am too far removed from amateur observing.  How many years has it been?  I can't count them.  It's too painful.  I don't even know where the ecliptic is anymore.  A month or two ago I was daydreaming about hosting a micromini-Messier Marathon.  How can I do that without knowing the sky?  And I don't know the sky.  Not anymore.  It makes me sad.

Sad.  Jealous.  Ignorant.  Excluded.  Behind.  Apart.  Sad.

And it is raining.  I can't even go out and observe, even if I were setup to do so.

But now George Hartig comes to my office asking for the ETU test data.  I have it!  I know about it!  I have purpose!  After some extensive discussion of the status of the data on the witserv, George indicated that he didn't think he had access to it.  Then I indicated that the disk on my desk has almost everything.  He said he was most interested in the stuff taken late on Saturday.  So I looked on the witserv disk and found the 04.10 backup directory and read through the directory names that had been created by the analyst.  George identified one directory as the stuff he was looking for.  I traveled down the directory and saw that it was all zip files and then recognized that this was the same set of data that both Randal and John had asked me for.  And even better the fits files were made and zipped, sitting on the ftp server.  So, I forwarded my email to Randal to George so that he could also retrieve the tarball of that data.  Hurray!  I do have a purpose and I do contribute!

George, you have no idea how useful your timing was....  Thanks.  I needed that just then.  A reminder of what I am doing here.

15 April 2010

Yesterday afternoon I was again very tired, but I knew that we would have to work on and finish taxes.  The first question was whether or not Chris had had a chance to work on tabulating any of the receipts and such that I had laid out for him the night before.  He said he had totaled the childcare.  That was good.  He didn't know what to do about the medical.  It is more complicated than most parts.  I asked if he had entered any of the 1099s or anything.  He said he didn't enter anything into the program, just totaled things otherwise.

I finally forced myself downstairs to start working on it all.  I first entered the childcare, since that is one of the first things in the forms.  Then I did the 1099s, which weren't obvious, since some of them were new.  These things went in smoothly and quickly.  Then it was dinner time and a good time for a break.

After dinner, I dragged myself downstairs again.  The medical was still waiting.  I needed Chris's help to do the subtotaling.  So, I put that off until after the kids were in bed.  I finished up everything else I could do.  We put the kids to bed and then tackled the medical expenses.  Everything needed to be subtotaled, and then mileage needed to be calculated.  This is always a royal pain, and there is no guarantee that all your effort will result in any deduction whatsoever.  We slogged through it and I was getting more and more tired.  I started snapping and Chris complained and snapped back that discussing it was delaying our completion even further.  We went back and forth a couple of times and then refocused on the real task at hand.  We finally got through it and called my mom.  I asked for her to run me through her usual list of questions to be sure that we got all of them.  We did.  We had to figure out how to correct the childcare issue that the IRS complained about for 2008.  We rummaged around and finally found it in the worksheet where the W-2 information is entered.  Oddly enough, I specifically remember entering the correct numbers there for the dependent care FSA, but when I looked again, the appropriate line was empty.  Now, I suspect that the software yanked it off the line.  I remember being very careful when I entered all the W-2 information, because of our previous problems with this.  Now the line was blank.  I now have to make a mental note to enter it on this worksheet when entering the W-2 information ***and*** again after everything else is entered!  This really is unacceptable.  The software should be smarter than this.  We still have to straighten out the 2008 childcare issue, which entails giving the IRS more money, plus interest.  

Finally, we paid with Chris's debit card and we were printing.  I begged off and headed for bed.  Chris stayed behind and babysat the printer.  When I got up this morning, the printouts were lying very tidy on his desk.  W-2's were not attached, but everything was neat and tidy.  No extraneous papers, failed printouts, receipts, reports, or anything.  Nice.  I signed both the federal and the state forms after I ate breakfast.  Chris would still have to attach the W-2s from STScI and Hargrove and do the mailing, but I figured he could handle that without me telling him what to do.  He did call me at work during the morning, to ask if we had any 5x7 envelopes.  No.  We've never had a bunch of those.  We've only ever had the standard number 10 business envelopes and the large 10x12 manilla envelopes.  Clearly, he was getting ready to pack up the forms and mail them.  Hurray!